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To my dear family, loved one, friends and most importantly, my readers...

If I had to sum up life in one single word, it will be- Surprising!
I saw him once, tying laces of his big boots in a car. I couldn't notice anything around but the majestic military boots. He noticed me looking at him, but i seriously don't remember how he reacted to my constant stares. And then, i met him next at a friend's wedding, and he was dressed in the perfect pair of tuxedo shoes. The shoes, they looked so beautiful, that this man almost out shined the groom with his footsteps. He walked like a royalty and i kept on following him with my eyeballs, quietly. Being a sucker for books, i had read that men since ages have been falling in love with women at the very first sight, In my case, well it seemed otherwise. And yes the love was very superficial because i never actually knew him.

I graduated last year, and then while moving to a new place for work, I happened to meet someone familiar looking there. A gentleman in every sense, we met, re-met, kept on seeing each other until we both confessed our feelings to each other- same time, same date and same place. For the wedding we went shopping together, having tried a million shoes for the big day, my man finally charmed me wearing his Beautiful Olive green and the Big Boots, the shoes i fell in love with at the 'first' sight.
'Military men are truly knights in shining Armour', as much as they love their uniform, they love their woman.

Writing about our love,the eternal bliss...I remember taking your hand and pretty fingers to my lips..I wanted to love every inch of you, taste every bit of your body through your very pores. I Remember I wanted to get lost in your eyes..wanted to be consumed by your kisses during that night. It makes me miss our lips that met in soft kisses, our tongues began passion's war,we Forgot then, the outside world...

With your sweet caresses I desire you to touch my soul, with your passion
now if only you could lay down right beside me rite away you can hear the thunders that I Feel because my body crying for you.
I want to get lost Touching, feeling, exploring every emotion possible that goes beyond bliss..For I know such would be our time of togetherness and our time would come..this is how I dreamt our time when I would Want you like no other, Need you, like the air that I breathe, Together, one mind, one soul....Fused in the heat of passionate love forever! .
All of this is here, behind this little door called heart.Unspoken words flow onto the page, provoking reactions inside me today. Making me drive crazy...crazy to want you....I am becoming one with the page, wanting to feel close to each stroke of my own words, I seek your wonder and romance when I miss to be with you;
the touch which touches my face with tenderness,
and when you draw me near your body...

My destiny, today I laugh and I see tears, because baby, I am going to kill the damn terrorists and will try and be back home soon.

Every time he was to leave for his Unit, he would cry. It wasn't like they were having an affair and they had insecurities of loosing on to each other, they were just too much in love with each other I guess!
They both knew that being together wouldn't stop them from being alone, tempted, greedy, insecure and LOST.

That day he was leaving, he was gentle with her and still happy. Well being a man in Uniform, he considered love to be straight and tantrum-pone. It was a matter of 2 hours and then he would be gone, gone to a terror prone area, it always did scare the two of them...
After a quiet meal he took her for a walk.
Love takes years to grow, he told her.
But holding her hand on a quiet road gave a sudden rush to him...

Gently keeping her back, with the same silly smile again and again, he told her- 'I would never stop falling in love with you, NEVER'
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God Only knows better, the relationship between an Army Man and his BULLET!


I guess all bikers will agree with me, it's A match truly made in uniform!

Something today makes me want to write about 3 years i have lived in Delhi as a student, something inside my head wants me to write on the people i have been associated with for past 3 years, its maybe the feeling of wanting to re-live the past or just thinking how far we have come ever since we started...
So it all started 3 years back, almost, i knew we were all so nervous, excited and full of life wanting to start at a new something called- College. I was moving in from Chandigarh- the city of small dreams, yes it's small, Pun-jabicallly beautiful and so what if it isn't as big as Mumbai or Delhi, which are land of unlimited dreams, Chandigarh did give wings to my dreams of studying Journalism, okay maybe some people pushed me to it, but it all happened @ Chandigarh. So with all luggage, we came to a City, that i never felt i belonged to till i actually started living in here, (FYI now i consider myself to be a pseudo Dilli-ite, ok i am a desi version of the real Delhites but never-mind.) like i have put it, there were many others like me, some had pre-conceived notions about college life, some had overrated dreams about college while there were others who had fantasies, the ones u see in movies and TV about college...However there is one thing i would like you all to know, the ones with fantasies, had the best possible prediction of my college. Yes ASCO, as we put it, is a dream college, maybe not for all, because it was perhaps the batch, the craziest lot, that was a dream batch. We played Holi like no one else at the university, we are a huge-ass university by the way, you want a course, we make one even if you are the only student enrolled in that course, thankfully mine had a large population of species, that made everyday a new drama day. We fraught, we loved, we broke hearts, we attacked our H.O.D with eggs, no it wasn't any protest it was a fun filled way of saying-'Happy Holi', (that's how its put in the official statement. I met someone called Party Khan, there is a reason why i am starting with him, he is someone u cant believe he really is. ASCO adopted a new subject in the curriculum called- P-A-R-T-A-y, courtesy Party khan. He was a one man army, from everyone's entry to the venues, he has been managing it all, If he gets elected in the parliament, the entire country will be partying for sure. Ok, then i met the Dass, oh boy he underwent serious transition, from that chubby little bwoy(don't kill em for this please) to current project manager at Leo Burnette Worldwide, this once upon time Pond's goggly woggly wush brand ambassador is making it big in his career, good thing! and then there were some breeding models who would eat sleep and dink mac foundation, diplomatically being correct they were good on he college ramp. If you think Amir Khan is too much of an overrated filmmaker, well wait till you meet the budding directors and editors in my batch. They were good at their work but good, and so good that we barely saw any films from these guys, well i do remember the one in which Saumitra- the rockstar (that's how his FB Display name read, i have got nothing to do with it, really) delivered the best of SRK acting skills, but i have to admit he designed my sister's best bachelorette party invitation ever...oh and i just remembered we had a guy called Eby who could mouth deejay songs, yeah he could sing bollywod mashups, and he danced, danced and danced that we eventually had to believe he was a dancer. There were hidden loverbirds, i don't know if i am allowed to name them on my blog, but all those in BJMC 3A exactly know who i am talking about, after all the loverbirds came from a different world, They sat like they were in Taj hotel's lobby and they argued with all teachers, but hey Rahul did make sense at times and it helped us all to do away with a boring lecture...for this we will always be grateful to him adn shhh..every class has bunkers, they never came, came just to get the attendances on track- the likes of this group were inclusive of Rishabs, chopras, (well college ended with his new bangs, behls, kapils,gogias and Rawats, But when they made it to the class, they were show stealers. WE had the best footballers like you see on the TV, Siddhart Chauhan can tell u better about this, so what if we didn't win a single university tournament, we still had the biggest support and the loudest cheering from the Department always. MUSIC, it ran in the alcohol induced blood of many, We had the best singers, best guitarist, and the best performers, Marodia, a dynamite, i still remember he surprised us all with that power packed performance at Big picture with his band when seeing him perform made us all go like...'w--hh--aaatt--t--fu-c-laa-p-ss! And you knew there was a girl called Sadhvi, she grabbed the maximum eye+balls for her obvious hotness and the stance. There was someoen called as Kavisha, She was a gothic dream for many guys,And before i get into the details of everyone i possible met at college, i want to end by saying, that Kabeeeras and shokeeenas are rare breeds u see, they stick to u like a leech and ensure that u'll never be able to get rid of them,for this i have endless reasons to thank them however, tandon and verma and smalleys like Swarn are forever going to be special maybe cause the college picture looks complete with these guys being in it.....oh and yes, that reminds me, what actually made me want to write this post today was the Class Picture posted on a friends page on facebook where none of us are actually interested,well thats hpw BJMC 3A has been most of the times (the uninterested part),anyway god bless Mark Zukerberg and his team....and the cake well it belongs to each one of us, who made memories all these years, all those who have been part of my college universe, all i can say is good luck you guys!!!

So we have come a long way, from growing up to realizing that our late night phone calls to friend/s do something to our parents, from hearing, 'now you know how difficult it is to make money' to being responsible...life has begun to feel like its running, running on a course that seems to just go on.Yes, waking up every morning for work isn't as bad as realizing, that a day has already ended. Something, somewhere is missing. No we all have our share of fun with our friends/laughter moments at work/admiration from parents yet there is something that doesn't look perfect in the picture. I see people struggling to be happy, ad then i wonder if i really am happy? It's a question that perhaps we all, yes WE all ask ourselves each day, and then there are people who enlighten us with philosophical stuff/things/language like, 'we need to be happy with what we have, what we are doing..blah..blah.' Well the good news is that i have found the secret to be sort-of-happy. OK i am no Deepak Chopra, or baba ramdev who has invented a trick that states if you rub your upper jaw against the lower, you shall end up with unlimited happiness and hair growth on your head! The good news is, that I am just another somebody who is undergoing alot of transformation as the life rolls and i like to write about this entire experience. i am sure everyone who reads this wants to figure out the answer, but before that, i want to update everyone about the girl from "winter Love" post, (in case you don't remember, please check the previous posts, wont take long thou), the man who saw her dance, has confessed his love to her. She too totally loves the thought of being in love, but now she has come a long way in life. That man loves her, in phases, but he does love her, he loves being around her but there is a BUT in this story...well i guess time only will tell what's in store for her, them, him,. Anyway, life seems to have just started for everyone around me. For some its new work, new projects, new house while for others its the new clothes that will be delivered soon by their favorite online shopping website, everyone has something to hold on to for a smile perhaps. This reminds me, a friend had gone for Armin Van Buuren's concert. He not only made some of the most crazy videos with no faces, no people, nobody, but he also received immense happiness in sharing it with everyone on his bb! Ok, so he inspires me to share the secret, just to be the right happy, all we need to do is to start noticing ourselves while we smile. Yes, it's that simple. It may not go down well with most of you, but wait, you need to try this. while you smile, look at yourself carefully, from merely looking at our face to the wrinkles, smile when there ain't many people around you, or when there ain't many talking lips. while we do this process, our unconscious mind goes to all those instances that made us smile, perhaps always, perhaps yesterday or perhaps just ONCE. It helps in remembering people/things/memories that matter to each of us, okay if it takes you to the sad side of it, you must immediately frown and it will all be fine! happiness sometimes is uncalled for, sometimes it just comes with a bang, and rest of the times we seek for it. We are still in a better place if we are in the above 3 category than those who perhaps cannot celebrate their lives at all.
Love; it all starts with love, ends in love or sometimes hurts instead, just the way Adele says it! one thing that always makes me smile about "love" is that how easily it changes someone's life, their being for forever...! so i plan to pray for you all, who have been with me, been part of my little universe that you all keep happy, wherever you are. After-all, we are all under the same sky!

College, Classes, friends, partying with friends didn't give him much happiness as much as being on stage, Dancing in-front of people did! He was an ordinary dancer but what helped him to stand out was the sense of 'peace' people observed on his face when he swayed with the music. There was something really remarkable about him, i don't know if it was the passion, technique or his commitment towards this form of art. The only time i remember seeing him dance was at Shaimak's summer show, he was good, something i'd remember of him on stage, all my life.

For some it's an obsession that just keeps growing on with time, after all that's what we get to see in all the TV shows, people coming from small cities with a single passion called 'Dance' etc etc.. But here i am talking about someone who never went for a TV audition, i m sure if he did, he would make it big, however, there were times he would rebel with everyone around just to prove his choreography right, but i guess that's how people with passion are, they don't follow, they begin to lead, in every field with time... I still think that for someone who loves to write, or read, or perhaps play a guitaar, or just listen to music and enjoy every bit of it is an artist in his own rights, yes with 's'!
Of-course for those who do nothing, they too exhibit these (undiscovered/hidden/not-put-efforts-into) artistic characteristics. But hey if you are one of those who spend alot of hours on play-stations, video games or social networking, trust me you are not wasted, you are the 'fun-indulging' artist, creating an entertainment art, but that does make you an artist!

So about this boy, he wasn't really tagged as a dancer by the world around him, but he sure forgot about all his projects, assessments, friends, issues, family, issues...and more when he moved with the rhythm of the music. I wanted to tell him to pick up formal training, but all that didn't happen. Today the words Light-Sound and Dance make him alive, every time. It's a familiar feeling, i feel alive too, maybe when i get to talk to the ones i love the most, or the one :D! I guess, to each it's own!
He isn't anyone big in the industry, but he is making his days big by performing whenever he gets a chance to do so, this makes me want to say that, we all should pursue that ONE thing we all really like to do. I know it's not easy making a career out of these unconventional hobbies but we can always try and be associated with them for as long as we want. I know of people who possess brilliant photography skills, but haven't taken it to another level, i know of others who click and put pictures on Facebook and seeing people hit 'Like' makes them the happiest. There are people who love to ride big beasts, go on trips, and they tell me they have ideas to do something about their adventurous journeys, well all i can say is go ahead, scribble your journey into notes, take pictures, shoot films do everything it takes to save all that you discover and make it worth remembering all your life, and while doing this who knows it may grow into something you always wanted to do!

The dancer too likes to send his pictures, he emails all of them to me. But what i want to share is the text of the email he sends everytime, it's been same for all the mails, it reads, "Don't know if i am born to do this, But i know this is what I really want to do Right now." And these words have been inspiring me always, so here i am working, writing, baking, meeting my friends, doing everything that i like to do,a-midst all this, I still think he was born to dance,!!!


Thank you Angad Singh, Your pictures truly deliver your passion, hope you continue dancing!
Photo Credits: Siddhartha Mukherjee

'I love you' must be just a cliche for those to whom love never happened at the first sight,
those who weren't cock sure about it that very moment, who were only to be called 'pros' to have kissed the girl's hand the very second time.
who never knew a peck on d cheek fetches much more than a kiss.
Those who care nothing more about it than being a life's process. Those who are scared to confess that she's the 'one'. Those whose search for beauty and bliss is still on. Those who think that men don't cry. Those who just say, but never actually miss her presence.
Those who thnk of telepathy to be unreal...those who haven't learnt to forgive, those who are yet to choose 'the' way in their lives.
Those who can never get as lucky as i am. I hate to pity them all.
i know it's not easy loving a man in Uniform, but no matter what, just know that i will always be thankful to you.



(The above is an abstract from a soldier's diary, there are many more to follow, however, i think in uniform or no uniform, Love has a universal language. If u have ever felt strong for anyone,love-like, you should let them know of your love time and again, so why wait, do it TODAY, it wont come back for sure!)

From Tehelka Magazine, Vol 6, Issue 31, Dated August 08, 2009

Story on how the Kargil War affects one soldier’s mother 10 years on

“HE DIED IN a combat zone, was boxed up and sent home. They pinned his medals on his chest and told his mother he did his best.’’ Ten years down the road, the brave hearts of the Kargil War were remembered on Vijay Divas. This is one of their stories.

Capt Avi Bhardwaj was commissioned into the Indian Army in 1997 and posted at the highest battlefield in the world, the Kargil frontier. At 23, he was high on life and had exuberant charm. He drove an Enfield with Ray-Ban antiglares and proudly sported three gold stars on each shoulder. He had lost his father, Maj Vivek Bhardwaj, when he was barely 10 years old, and it was always his dream to join the army, wear the olive green and follow in his father’s footsteps. In 1999, he laid down his life so his countrymen could sleep in their homes in peace.

He was survived by his mother, who proudly collected her son’s gallantry honour. His body was brought to the Dehradun War Memorial. She was always his best friend and she remembered his last words to her: “promise me that you will always be around your baby”.

Every day she travelled 25km to the war memorial to be with her son. She sat next to his name and moved her fingers over the engraving with a gentle touch. She gazed upon it and embraced each letter. She did all the things that used to make him happy, reading his favourite novel and playing songs on his iPod, which he loved so much. Her lips curled into a smile when she remembered him smile. Tears trickled from her gleaming eyes when she thought of him. He was her only son and meant the world to her, but he was far away.

Each day she spent four hours talking to him, telling him how proud she felt, how she could not wait to hug him for one last time. Whether it was rainy or cold she never missed a day since she feared not fulfilling her promise. He was her gentle breeze in this world of chaos, and she believed that his spirit soared beyond her and watched her like an angel.

As she sat by the memorial, she would put her arm around the stone, clutch his portraits between her fingers and rest. She knew that he, too, would be sleeping in peace.

Happy Valentine's day ya-all! Today, i was talking to my colleague at office as to how the concept of love, life, romance, gifts, money, happiness have become interdependent on each other, and to my surprise she agreed with almost evrything i was trying to say to her.

so she gave me two new terms today that i will like to explain nicely. The first one is...Mr. Right (ok we all girls have dreamt of him all our lives, isn't it?) and the second one is: Mr. Right Now (we have him, we don't, we sort of do, we like him and the rest is shhhhh..)

After brief discussions, i understood the difference between the two best pieces of pie in a girl's platter. Mr Right is ideologically the perfect prince in shining Armour! He is the hidden part of the boys we have been dating all these years, something like we all want our respective boyfriends to be like. The most likable aspect of Mr Right is the idea of his existence. he sounds like a custom made product that has been developed to cater to a woman's strict set of desires...perfect, isn't it? it doesn't stop here, he is someone we girls like to talk to, discuss our issues with like the hair,pimple, weight err, and some secret stuff! (i m sure you know what i am talking about).
But hey according to my colleague's explanation, 'Mr. Right Now' sounds all the more desirable. He is the clea, high end, tempting looking boy you know of. He drives big cars, Doesn't really chase girls, (but makes you chase him)and is always ready to take you out for parties, Dinners, coffees or dates! what makes him different is the fact that he can be too loving, make you feel all loved and suddenly be a friend with a straight face the next moment. He is unpredictable, loving and makes you commit sins that leaves you with no regrets! (yes, all of those sins you just thought of in your head)

We all girls, at some point or the other have come across the two types for sure. We know Mr, Right, who he is, where he is, what he does, and we also know Mr. Right now, yes he is, Next to us, Loves driving us around!
Well, both types ultimately contribute to the happiness quotient of us, the beautiful girls~ and hello, we don't hate any men...just the jerks! :D
It's just NOT LIKE BEING MEAN OR ANYTHING, UNLESS YOU HAVE MR.RIGHT AND MR.RIGHT NOW AT THE SAME TIME...! even if u do, enjoy as long as you don't end up breaking hearts, that includes yours as well.

For those who haven't found either of the existing categories, don't worry, life has too much to offer to each one of us. One of them may happen to you soon.till then, Good Luck! And for the boys, it's time you realize out of the 2, which type you really are or i should put it better, it's time you realize which type you really mean to that Girl..! (yes, HER!)


at the end i'd just say, 'Men may come and men may go, for a woman, love goes on forever!!!!!!' (evil laughter)
Hope it was a memorable world love day for all...!

No i was not bored, i wanted to read 'the Brunch magazine' maybe because this week, as a part of my job, i spoke to a journalist in HT to pitch in some stories for the client i work for, ok this part of info is not required, the point here is that the journalist very clearly told me, "we have wrapped us this week's issue, wait till you have it in your hands." It's SUNDAY, it's valentines special issue and yes i was anticipating to read the cover story...and to my surprise it turned out to be one of the most exciting piece of articles i have ever read.!

Here i'll tell you why, it's because this week's issue talks about us, my generation, people aged 18-25 years, and yes we have been tagged as confused, baffled, flamboyant, Disconcerted but hey my favorite one has to be 'bewildered'! A survey conducted by the magazine states that pre-Martial sex is no longer a big deal in India, well that sounded progressive but wait the next survey did make me laugh. it goes like, our generation when indulging into big decisions of life like marriage, maximum people go in for a person their folks select..!!!! The writer quotes us to be confused in mind, maybe because all the survey they conducted were really confusing. But know what, ever since i have come to know of my friends, batch mates working, we all who knew in college what we wanted to become, unanimously crib to be clue-less at work..! This should sound comforting for all those who think they are the only ones trying to cope up with their professional lives. WE ARE ALL TOGETHER, EVEN IN OUR PROBLEMS!
However, 63% people expect their Husband/wife to be a virgin, now this is serious boss.! somewhere in between modernity and traditions, i guess we all have become too much of 'let-it-be' kinds in our heads. we all think it's cool to support homosexuality on Facebook, or some forum but hey honestly how much of us really do have a gay friend! and how many of us are ready to put up with them! well in the end we are all free to stand for whatever we believe. Sometimes i just feel we have been exposed to tooo many options in life, and we are just encircling around those choices, resulting we have all become 'the circle' and things that belong to us are at the center. Ok that's too much of geometry for now.!

Anyway, the fun part about being the bewildered gen-x is that we get along well with the oh-no-so-old generation and the younger people adore us.! Even if there has been too much of drinking, dancing, partying or sex, whichever way it sounds less acceptable, we have started to enjoy lives, ok we have lied at times, but we don't regret the share of fun we had.!

SO my friend came with another story, Once she had her girl friends over her place for a pajama party. (FYI pajamas are not mandatory here) They got a a really cheap bottle of alcohol from a 'Theka' (the beverage shop as u may put in sophistication). They were a bunch of pretty little girls dancing drunk all night long when one of the girl's boyfriend came over to see her. so the beautiful part of the night started here, when 4 friends sat in the boy friend's car zoomed all over the city...they were free, crazy and out of the sunroof top in the car. The man couldn't have felt more lucky than that, but he sure was a gentleman i heard. He let each one have her share of laughter and dropped them back respectfully, slowly hugging his girl friend to goodbyes. They all woke up happy and now i hear them laugh, "it's one of those days that you like to keep hidden in your diaries."
I am sure why...! till then let's hope the diary doesn't have too many peek-a-boos! :)

i remember my friend telling me about a night that she loves remembering, each time she tells me about it, its like i m hearing it for the first time. her lips move in a certain way, something full of passion and excitement when she starts by saying, "He did come over that night."
He drove out to her house, in the middle of the night, just because she told him that she wanted to be with him. she felt so very special.. they just laid on her bed, curled up together, talking....yeah talking..!!
she wasnt sure what they talked about, it was so long ago, but she does know that he made her feel special. he complimented her when she said negative things about herself, and just hearing it come from him actually made her believe it. he always had that affect on her...
After about an hour of talking, and laying there, he fell asleep. But she couldn't sleep, not with him right beside her. she never wanted to fall asleep, ever again, if it meant that she could stay there, beside him, just watching him. Watching him breathing, and watching the way his eyes would slightly move when he was dreaming, and the way his lips parted a bit. Everything amazed her.
And she never fell asleep that night. when he opened his eyes, the heart began to race again...only to realise it was time to depart bfefore the whole world wakes up...couldnt let him go...but couldnt wait for the sunshine either...the b'ful nite was over in the eyes,over with words, but not yet over with love... said goodbye...closed her eyes, dreamt of him again...wishin that tomorrow would be the same...!!! this was the night of dreams....
now i believe, dreams don't happen everyday.!

Just when you begin to think how slow life becomes, you look outside the glass window and realize, DAYM winters are here..!!!
Suddenly those 5 rupees 'chai' from a panwari or a tea-stall begin to taste like the last peg of jack Daniel, really! smell of maggie noodles and mo-mo's are now things of everyone's usual winters.!
but the most unusual thing i learnt this winters is knowing an Army of people who not only get activated at 12 winter a.m but live through the cold night like they soak up the sun all through.
They are called the Party Poppers (not poopers). They pop out of their houses when you mention the word P-A-R-T-A-Y!!!! they are quiet but are spotted in big cars, yeah the beasts. WHAT really interesting about them is the fact that they all have a power, an influencing, encouraging power that encourages a non-party-holic to join they army!

One incident happened with the friend of mine, she comes clean, Non-alcoholic and sleeps at 10 pm, well she thought she knew it all until she met these young, well accomplished men who also loved to party. Being young and attractive herself,She got along well with them, She looked at them carefully, enjoyed in bits but was more intrigued to see the world around her. There were people in the state of trance, some in their bling-est ever, some being taken care off and another lot dancing like no one really watched them. she like the dancers lot. Her friend accompanied her, they danced together but she knew the Party Poppers were interested to know her. She danced, sat, observed, danced, drank a little but was, LOST after all. At every point of time in life, we all usually ask ourselves if we really belong to a particular space, a moment or a place. and that's exactly what she did. It wasn't a worst night, she just saw a different world together. They dropped her back home like true gentlemen, and yes they too had realized maybe she wasn't really 'into' the night. NEVERMIND, they told her they had fun. And when she got out of car, she took off her 4 inch heels holding them in her hands, she danced under the moonlight, she laughed like she was free and then she ran back to her house. The party Popper left with a smile, maybe because he saw her dance while reversing his car..!